I loved reading this. I, too, was a wild child, and I've had a wild life. Professional snowboarder in my teens. Flying trapeze artist at 32. Mom at 44. I lived my dreams and could die tomorrow saying so. However, I'm in the category of people who have now run out of dreams. Where do I go from here? It's difficult, demoralizing, and heart-wrenching. It's been 5 years since I left the show, I'm at a loss. Having a baby has been great, but it's different, you know? I don't have that thing I'm personally working tirelessly toward bettering. Of course, I dream of going back to my circus days. Nothing could compare to that life; but I have to let that dream live in the past with gratitude for having lived it, as I can't go live it again. (And, in fact, I did get to live it twice because I quit and was invited back.) Anyway, I've lived many dreams. I think the peril of living so many dreams is that my standards of what's compelling and exciting is pretty high. I hope there are dreams to come, but for now, I'm working on gratitude.